(650) 346-3581 (PST)courage@melaniedewberry.comIt’s a real world. It’s time to be real in it.

Radical Self Forgiveness

I’ve been talking on Facebook and in my newsletter about self-forgiveness and about Radical Forgiveness and Forgetting.

It’s been too long since I’ve blogged, but it’s time now to speak to you. Speaking of forgiveness, forgive me for not attending to you. I received my first book contract with Hay House and was so overwhelmed, all I could do was to write the book.

I want you to focus on forgiving you! When I talk to people about forgiving and forgetting others, the response I receive is “forgiving is one thing, forgetting is another. I can forgive but I will not forget.” The belief is that if they forget the deed done to them then naiveté will take over and the deed will be done again. Rest assured that forgetting does not mean you become prey for future negative encounters. Well, there is an if. If you learned what was yours to learn in the first encounter you can consider that event and the possibility of future events complete.  If you have not learned what was yours to learn then holding onto remembering won’t help you anyway. Forgetting doesn’t make you naive or stupid or vulnerable. It strengthens your faith in yourself.

You should have felt relief right there.

Imagine letting go of carrying all the volumes of stories of who did what to you and what effect it had on you. Instead, stand tall with all your healed pieces, knowing that you are here, still standing, recovered because you did forgive and forget.

Now we take a moment to turn your attention to you. Yes, bad things have happened to you but you also have also done and said things you wish you had not or not done or said that you wish you had. A few months ago a woman I was speaking with made some pretty horrible racist statements about Mexicans. I stopped her. Another woman close by said “I don’t think I could have done what you just did.” Our inability to step in and say or do what is needed when verbal, psychological, or physical violence is occurring may be something you want forgiveness for. Often we think we need courage, and yes that is in part true, but what we also need is to desire to care for one another enough that we are able to be with the pain courage asks of us. Courage is not without fear and fear (initially) is painful.

Take a moment and reflect on being absolutely forgiven for ANY deed. Close your eyes and in your way complete the sentence: I forgive myself for _____. Do this for each thing you’d like to be forgiven for.  Take your time. Breathe. Breathe again and trust that this real.

When you’re complete you can say Amen, thank you, or close any way that feels true.
Open your eyes and let it be forgotten. Don’t pick at the old scab of memory. If the memory should arise tell it no thank you, no one lives here, I’ve moved on.

To forgive, you must forget. They go together and cannot be separated. The ego will tell a different story. It will ask you to not trust yourself and that guilt and shame are needed to keep you on point. Do you believe that you are meant suffer, especially at your own hands?  No. No more suffering needs to be brought into the world. Forgetting is the work of the soul. Sufferings the labor of the ego.

You can get the entire video as newsletter subscriber in the archives (Look for May 2016).
Every Monday there is a new video short video on my Facebook page. I hope to see you there.

Every day you get to be and do you. Start tomorrow with a clean slate.

Love, love, love


You know who you are. Be that

You know who you are. Be that

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