05 Oct How I Got on the TEDx Stage. 1 in a Series
In my newsletter I told the story of someone suggesting I chronicle how I got the TEDx speaking gig. I’m easily influenced.
Cry Help
I had a lot of help. I didn’t do this on my own. I had a desire, a dream, a not-going-to-quit no-matter-what attitude, all while my fingers were crossed behind my back. I believed I had a message and worked hard to believe that I was TEDx worthy.
I also had to surrender to the truth, which is TED is not going to make me worthy. I am not defined by this. I have relevance because I can feel it. While validation was wanted – it soooo was — I had to not hinge my worth on any stage. I did feel like these people were my people and if I didn’t get “yes” I would move forward.
TEDDY Awareness
Let’s start with some basic TEDx awareness. You’ll want to know this because it will tell you if you really want this gig; if it really aligns you.
TEDx is about sharing your innovative ideas. Ideas that are worth spreading is how they talk about it. What does this mean? It means tap into that passion, that idea and get clear how it can apply to each audience member in the room. How will you make it relevant to someone who has never heard of the idea you’re about to present? You’ll want to be clear, how someone who has never played video games, doesn’t care about videos games, doesn’t like video games, should be hanging off their seat to hear your presentation on video games. Engage them. Feed them. Make them care about video games. Make it relevant to them.
I recently attended a Rob Bell event (he’s a pastor with a very cool hip twist) and what he said about invention and innovation is applicable. “Innovation is finding patterns in what already exist and adding your spin. Invention is the never seen before. Focus on seeing the patterns anew.”
Theme Meme
Each TEDx has its own theme. The theme should be an early consideration because you can have a great idea worth spreading but does it work with their theme? This was a huge challenge for me. There were just some themes that I couldn’t fit into. If you are trying too hard to be everything to anyone you’re stepping away from you and your innovative insight.
A Moment of Rambling
But wait, let me back it up a bit. TEDx, or any venue – shit, LIFE itself – wants your dark chocolate yumminess, so bring that. That means never feel the need to adjust to a theme just to be there. Be you. Love your people. Love your audience. Speak for them as well as to them. Speak to their beauty, their soul, their suffering, their giggly dreams, their heartache. Help them consider something they’d never consider or have always wanted to allow themselves to consider. Make it personal. They want connection. Give them all your bits of wisdom and folly and fuck ups. I’m suggesting you don’t strategize — you connect. Now that I’ve got that off my chest, read on.
Back to the Conversation at Hand
Watch Computer TV (videos)
This subtitle makes me gleeful because I’m a TV addict.
This will take a lot of work because even if you know your idea you still have to massage it and make it TED worthy. So get thee to the TED website and watch several videos. Those TED and TEDx videos are your mentors. They are wise, so sit at the feet of their brilliance and be humbled.
Find the ones folks rave about like Brené Brown. Listen. Look. Take notes. What makes her talk beloved? Learn about yourself as you watch. What do they call forward in you? What do they make?
Gather Your Tribe
Who gets you? Who will be real with love? Who do you trust? Gather them and tell them you’re going to be asking them for feedback on your message as you go along. Use them. This section comes before writing your ideas out because there’s something gutsy in knowing love has got your back before you even step out. Go get your love on.
Spill Your Guts
And then spill it. Talk it out. Write it down. Shout it. Record it. Walk it. Sing it. Feel it. Outline it. Sticky note it. Magazine picture cut out it. Evernote it. Pin It. Get it out over and over again.
Cry Help This Time with Some $$
TEDx was a big comeback for me. I hadn’t really spoken at that level for almost four years. I needed someone who knew this place. I hired a TEDx coach for speakers in Vienna, Austria. Celise Stone -she rocks. She also scared me. She didn’t let me off the hook. She made me dig deeper and deeper. There were many times I didn’t like her. Thank God for Celise.
I’m not very vulnerable with most folks. I have a small crew and they get to see all of me. I wouldn’t share my talk with her. So she went through the back door and hired me to do Soul Naming with her. She was determined to get me to trust her. Damn she was smart, because she had to be vulnerable with me during our session.
And… crap. During our session I fell in love with her. I saw that she saw me. crap. crap. crap. I shared my speech. It was scary. I was afraid of her feedback. Understand that I had shared my speech with my tribe but she was the coach of TEDx speakers. Her opinion mattered most, which is why I held out. Diaper time.
Mama Bear, Papa Bear It
Got speech ideas? Good, go to your tribe with three of the themes that excite you, scare you, inspire you, challenge you and ask courage of you. Share with them, ask them to question you, and you, my friend, defend it like you’re the attorney for a drug lord who you believe really is innocent and he’s holding your family hostage; their life is contingent on you winning this trial. Convince them and you’ll convince yourself. I usually don’t tell people to defend or convince anything but somehow, honey pie, this is called for now. Doing so concretizes it in your body. It will live inside you like a mighty Redwood Tree. You will own this yet-to-be-developed speech like nobody’s business. Mamabear, Papabear defend your ideas and the one that makes you take arms to protect it is the winner.
Protect Your Clothing
Get some really good deodorant. You’re going to need it.
xo,
Melanie
More to come. Visit my website for the next installment.
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